Broken to Beautiful: Part 4



 

Sweet homemade Valentine from my guys.

So the beginning of the last part of this story started around March of this year.  We were going through a very hard change (read part 3 here) and we were praying about whether or not to try again to have a baby.  The doctor had told us, once again, that he saw no reason why I couldn't have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby.  However, a huge part of me didn't want to go through that loss again.  So there was that and we were just really hurting about leaving our church when we got a dinner invitation.

The invite came from a great couple who we knew, had grown up with and been around in different seasons of our lives, but had never really hung out with a whole lot.  (If that makes sense...) It was a random invitation orchestrated by God.

The dinner was good and just what we needed.  We had so many things in common (we were going through very similar situations) that I believe we were able to minister to one another.  God is pretty amazing like that.  He always brings exactly who and what you need at exactly the right time.

That night in some of our conversations, it was randomly brought up that they had started the M.A.P.P. class.  M.A.P.P. stands for Model Approach to Partnerships in Parenting and it is an 8 week class that is required for foster parenting and state adoption.  This sweet Godly couple said that they were gonna go through the class and see where God lead them.  They were saying that by taking the class it didn't mean you had to get licensed to foster but it was a step in that direction.  My sweet friend said, "Y'all should go to the next class with us.  You only missed the introduction, the first class starts this week."

We said OK and that we would think about it and that was it.  I honestly didn't think too much more about it.  You see, adopting has always been in the back of our minds, but fostering I shied away from.  I didn't think I could do it.  I didn't think I could deal with the hurt and loss that it would involve. 

The next couple of days my friend and I were texting and she mentioned the class again.  So I asked Roddy what he thought about just trying the class out.  I really thought he would say no not right now.  But, without much hesitation at all he said, "Yeah, let's try it.  What do you think?"  I said ok. 

So we went.  And listened.  And just like that our path was changed. Sometimes the ugly of the world is forgotten, kind of "out of site, out of mind".  Well this ugliness was in our faces.  It was as if God was saying, "Here are my little children.  They need you.  They need love.  They need Me.  What are you gonna do about it?"

We made a decision that first night.  I can't say it was a solid yes, (because this yes would definitely waver over the next months) but we knew there was no going back.  This was what God was asking us to do and it was up to us to obey.

There were a few details about taking this class that may not seem like a big deal, but for us it was the push, the green light, we needed to go forward.  First of all the class was held on Wednesday nights.  We had never been at a point in our lives where we weren't committed to church on Wednesday nights, but here we were, not committed and available.  Secondly, the childcare was provided.  The classes were held at a church with a good kids' program and our boys were welcomed.  Then, for the extra time the class went after church was over, more childcare was provided for us.  How awesome is that?

God opened this door for us, wide.  He worked out the details.  We just had to show up.  So we did,  week after week.  As I look back now, it was a good season for us.  God was using the time to heal us, to prepare us.



(Wedding fun in June.) 

By June, after mountains of paper work, two home visits, Craig's List purchases, one fire alarm, one new door knob, etc. etc....we had the class and the home study done.  All we had to do was wait for approval from the proper state authorities.

Now, I'm gonna be real and honest.  I'm the kind of person who has to think through every possible scenario, good and bad, to prepare my mind.  I needed to think through this whole foster thing and examine every crook and cranny of what could happen.  Needless to say I drove Rod crazy.  Countless times I would come to the conclusion that we couldn't do it.  There was just no way.  And every time Rod would remind me, no we can't do it.  But God can do it through us.  He was my good dose of perspective many times over (and still is).

July 4th gorgeous beach

 

Watching fireworks on the beach.

On July 24, I got a text that afternoon that said, "Congratulations, you are now a licensed foster home!"  I was excited, but I panicked.  Then I decided to breathe again.  I knew we had a trip coming up and we asked to not get a placement until after that trip.  So I knew I at least had a couple of weeks to finish prepping.

Us in St Louis

We went on our trip and came home.  I fully expected to have a placement the week we returned.  But over the next three weeks, we got probably four different prospective placement calls that didn't work out for one reason or another.

I now know that God was still preparing us for the two little people he had for us and late one September evening, in God's perfect timing, those two littles showed up at our home.  Four little arms were wide open thirsting for love.  Four little arms clinging to us with all the strength they had.  Two hearts needing to be rescued.

It has been a privilege these past few weeks.  An exhausting, very hard, overwhelming, emotional roller coaster privilege.  But, what an honor to be able to pour into theses little lives.  To love on them as much as possible, fight for them and pray over them daily. 

Precious little feet.

I'm not saying I have it all together, all the time.  There are moments of thinking we can do this and then moments where the fears and doubts creep in.  Sometimes, the only thing I have energy for is to say the name Jesus.  It's enough. 

Jesus, It's the name I whisper as I get them out of their beds in the morning and the last name I whisper as I put them down at night.  Because only He knows their story.  He is their rescuer. 

He has rescued me.  And everyday He makes the broken beautiful.