Broken to Beautiful: Part 3

It's been a while.  I was procrastinating again because it's hard.  But I need to finish this part of my story.  I need to get it all out to give God all the glory.  Join me?  Read the intro here, part 1 here and part 2 here.  Be Blessed!

Christmas 2013

It probably started about 2.5 years ago.  The gentle urging in our spirits.  The whisper from the Lord asking us to change, to step away from the familiar and the known.  What he was asking was something so difficult for the both of us, that we ignored it for a while.  When ignoring was no longer possible, we prayed.  We prayed for two years and then prayed some more. 

You see, this was one of those changes that we didn't want to get wrong.  We wanted to know that it was God's will for us.  After much prayer, many conversations and even more tears we finally said yes.  It was the hardest yes I've ever had to say to God and as a wife to my husband.

In January, we made the decision to leave our home church of about 20 years.  To say this was home is a gross understatement.  Rod and I met at this church when we were only youth, participating in youth mission trips and doing drama together.  We married there.  We had our babies while there and it was the only church they knew.  We've shared so many memories and made so many dear friends.  Friends that will forever be family.  A lot of our blood family attends and my dad is the Pastor.  It was home.  Leaving was one of the hardest, if not the hardest, things I've ever done.

Home is familiar and safe.  Home is where everyone knows you.  They've seen some of your good and some of your bad and they still love you.  Home is security and stepping away from that is scary.

There was also another very personal inner struggle I had going on inside of  me.  We had been the Worship Leaders for about 13 years.  That's pretty much our whole marriage.  Letting this go was extremely difficult for me.  I love to sing.  Leading others in worshiping our wonderful God is my passion.  But, He is my biggest passion and to obey Him I had to let this title go.

I couldn't let "worship leader" define me.  Because really what God has placed in front of us as a way to serve Him could change at any time.  Just because the way we serve changes, it doesn't change who we serve.  He is the same.  It's His love and saving grace that defines who I am.

So , I gave this to God and if He wanted me to lead worship again, I would and if not I would learn to rest in that.  Has it been easy?  No way.  But the bottom line is I trust God.  Period.

It's almost been eight months since we stepped out into the unknown and God has been faithful.  God has lead us to a new church home with loving and awesome people.  A place where we are growing and being challenged in our walks with God.  Rod is playing guitar and I am singing with the worship team.  Our boys are thriving and growing in their relationships with God. Roddy is also going to seminary school online.

We didn't leave our church because of a disagreement.  We weren't mad or upset with anyone.  We were following the leading of the Lord.  I am only saying this because that is the case with so many.  However, we were heartbroken, kind of like leaving home when I went to college.  I was excited for the next step but I cried myself to sleep that first night away from home.  With time that hurt healed and with time this hurt is healing. 

I praise God for those 20 years and will be forever grateful for those people who poured themselves into me so that I might be able to empty into others. My relationship with God was nurtured and grew.  I was blessed with many relationships that I will cherish forever. 

This was a big step we had to take that lead us to the next big yes for our lives.  In fact I think everything in our lives this far have lead us to this yes.  I will tell you all about it in part 4...