WIWW - Vacation Prep

 

We recently went on a great big family vacation to Washington, D.C.  It was the whole family...five siblings, five spouses and six kids all on the same plane.  We met up with Roddy's mom along with local family and friends in Maryland.  It was a great time with lots of memories made.  I'll share more pics of the trip soon. 

But today is What I Wore Wednesday, Packing for vacation edition...

The night before the trip, I packed myself.  Thank God I already had the other four people in my house packed up (hubs does his own ;))  So as I was putting my outfits together, I took pictures of a few to send to my sister for her input.  Is that weird?  Have you ever done this?  We do this often, my sister and I.  We get early weekday morning outfit pics, Sunday morning pics and night before pics from each other.  Girls gotta get another opinion, right?  Especially in my house.  If I ask my husband or boys, I'll get a thumbs up then get pushed out of the way of the TV.  (Its really not that bad, but close.)

So anyway, these are some of the pics I took to send her.  They are rough and blurry.  It was late.  I was tired.  And I needed jewelry and shoes to get the full affect, but that's OK.  It's still fun, right?

 



Outfit 1:  A comfy black maxi skirt with white stripes from Old Navy with a t-shirt and green cardigan.

Then I sent her this with a chambray shirt instead saying I think I like this better.  She agreed.  I had a really cute statement necklace to wear with this too and black booties.

Outfit 2:  Dress for Roddy's grandpa's memorial service.  I wore it with tights and booties.  Here we are the day of the service in front of the pretty little church where it was held. 

Outfit 3:  This was the final pic I sent - jeans, top from Old Navy and scarf.  She was probably getting tired of me by now. Oh and I'm not sure about the raised eyebrows...

Then I said wait, this is better?  I got her approval.  Then I left her alone.  The end. 

Why?

I'm a mess guys...  My emotions have been all over the place and I'm going to write about it.  Writing has always been a sort of therapy for me, however I may regret how publicly I am going with my therapy.  But, at the same time, I always come back to if what I write can help someone who may be going through a similar circumstance then putting myself out there is well worth it.

This morning was a typical Marvelous Monday morning.  My big boys go to school with my sister a little before me and I take the Littles to day care later on.  Of course I was running late (being Marvelous Monday and all) and knew that the only way they would get some breakfast in them was cheerios in the car.  I gave the littlest princess hers in a snack cup and the little guy his in a ziplock bag.  I put the bag of cereal on the side between the car seat and his leg hoping that this would prevent him from spilling it. 

We start to head down the road and I look in the rear view mirror.  I see big brown eyes starting to brim with tears, a pouty lip and a broken heart and something in me snaps.  I sob. 

Little boy is sad because he thinks that by putting the cereal on the side instead of in between his legs that I've said he can't have it.  I see below the surface of the cereal and see a broken spirit, a wounded heart and I break. 

I'm so angry!  I want to beat the air with my fists and shout out "why?" at the top of my lungs.  Why do these little ones have to deal with the ugliness of this world?  They didn't ask for this.  Why do people hurt and wound the ones they should love?  It isn't right.  It isn't fair!

While this has been building up for days within me; the frustration, the impatience, the anger, I know in the core of myself why.  Are any of us really any different than these little ones, than their parents?  The reality is we are all filthy sinners in desperate need of a loving saviour.  We are all wounded in one way or another. 

Some of us choose to accept the free gift of salvation, a regenerated life, the bridging of the gap between ourselves and God.  While others do not, have not yet...

But even when we do know the Lord and have a relationship with Him, there are still the why's, the frustration, imperfection and sin we deal with daily.  But we have a peace in the midst of the storm, He is called our anchor.

I heard a song I had never heard before today and these words jumped out.  They were exactly what I needed to hear:

I could throw my fist in the air demanding answers
But in spite of all the questions
I’m still giving You my life
And if it doesn’t turn out like I think it should
It doesn’t change the fact You’re always good

As long as we are in this fallen world, there will be evil, awful things.  But knowing Jesus is knowing hope.  Trusting Him is trusting all His ways.

I think this fostering journey is changing me more than the little guys.  Most days I'm a super big mess in need of a whole lot of grace.  But I know that this is what God has put before us.  This is who God brought to us.  Two little wounded lives.  I believe in time He is healing them and me...

I don't often ask for help, but today I'm asking for prayers.  If you read this and believe in the power of prayer, please mention us before our Heavenly Father.  And if you have a need, please comment and let me know and I will be glad to pray for you as well. 

We aren't meant to walk through this life alone.  Be blessed!  You are loved by an amazing God!