When the Answer Is No

Being a christian is not about getting what we want, when we want it.  We don't accept the free gift of salvation so that we can use God like a genie in a bottle, rubbing it and making our wish, thinking what we ask for we will get.  It doesn't work that way.

Sometimes I pray, asking God for the thing I want and His reply is, "No, my girl. Just trust me."

That's what faith is.  Trusting God in all things.  Not just some of the things...the things that go our way.  But even in the hard things.  When we don't understand.  When we can't make a bit of sense out of it.  We still desire His will and His plan more.

I've had a disappointment this week.  Things didn't go the way I had hoped.  I'm sad and heart broken.  My good, good Father is compassionate.  He is grieving with me.  Think about this...

Lazarus died.  His sisters, Mary and Martha were heart broken.  Jesus finally shows up after they had tried to get him there before Lazarus died.  They knew that Jesus could have healed him.  Jesus had another plan.

When Jesus saw the sisters weeping, he wept.  "Jesus wept."  This, probably the shortest verse in scripture, says so much about the character of our Lord.

Why did he weep?

It wasn't because he had lost a friend who he loved dearly.  He knew all along that He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead.

"This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it." John 11:4

"Our friend Lazarus sleeps, but I go that I may wake him up." John 11:11

Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." John 11:23

He wept out of compassion.  He wept because those he loved wept.

He weeps with you.  He weeps with me.  But he has a plan.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

To know God is to love Him.  To love Him is to trust Him.  In all things.

So today I'm counting my blessings and they are many...

Yesterday morning I had decided to just stay in bed, pull the covers up over my head and have my own "pity party" as my daddy would say.  But then, through the monitor I hear a little voice calling for me and I knew I was needed.  I got myself up, made two sippy cups of milk and turned Mickey on.  Then I roused two big boys out of bed and continued to do the things mamas and daddys do.

I was thankful.  Thankful for all four of them.  Without even knowing it they kept me from feeling sorry for myself.  They reminded me how blessed I truly am.

Moments That Matter

It was bed time and I was tired!  Mama tired.  You know the kind.  It goes like this…

I worked. I rushed to pick up the kiddos so that we could be back to the house in time to see the little boys’ case manager.  I talked to her for a while.  I got more than a little frustrated at the lack of answers involving the little boys.  I quickly got some dinner together for us because by now it was a good bit past dinner time.  I gave the littles baths. I calmed a couple of temper tantrums. 

Then my big boys came home from the soccer game and the whole routine started again.  This time with some big boy attitude and “do I really have to take a shower?”

**side note:  Why are my boys surprised every night to learn that they have to take a shower.  We have been doing this for a long time now.  Why must it be such shocking and horrid news every night?**

So anyway, I was mama tired!

My head was about to hit the pillow when I hear, “Mama!?  Mama!! Mama!!?”

It was my nine year old “baby” and I knew what he wanted.  He often says to me, “Mama, come kiss me in the bed.”

As I got all cozy in my bed I told myself to just ignore it and it would go away.  I mean, I had already hugged and kissed him twice for pete’s sake! 

But then I had another thought…a gentle nudge to my heart and I thought, how many more times might he ask me to do this.  One day all too soon he will stop.

So I got up, went in their bedroom and said “What?”

“Mama, will you kiss me in bed?”  As he grins that charming grin he has perfected as the baby of our family.

I smile big and lean down over his big brother to kiss him. 

At some point they are both pulling on me, I lose my balance and find myself right in the middle of my two babies.  Babies who are nearly as big as I am.  We laugh and kiss and hug. 

I take a mental snap shot and pray that this sweet memory never fades.  Because these are the moments that really matter.

Thankful Thursday: My Little Family

I do hereby declare every Thursday, Thankful Thursday here at Ebb and Flow. 

 

There’s a verse that God brings to my mind often, in fact it’s hanging on the wall of my office.

 

In everything give thanks.  For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
~1 Thessalonians 5:18

I hung it up on my wall as a reminder because it’s so easy for me to just waller (I’m pretty sure that’s a word) in discontentment with this or that.  I have to remind myself to give thanks in everything.

You know, sometimes you can just get bogged down in everything that’s wrong instead of focusing on everything that’s right. 

Why is it God’s will for us to give thanks in everything?  When you focus on finding something to be thankful for in every situation something inside you will shift.  It’s an attitude adjustment, if you will. 

So really this practice is therapy for your soul.  So welcome to Therapy Thankful Thursday.  Feel free to share what you’re thankful for in the comments or share your blog post.

It is not happy people who are thankful;
It is thankful people who are happy. 

I’ll start with my little family.  I can always, always thank God for them and it will bring a smile to my face and my heart.  These are pictures from Easter.

Through fostering, there will be new faces added to this picture and forever added to our hearts.  Some may stay a short while and maybe one day there will be one (or more) that will stay forever.  But in any of those seasons, I will give God thanks for the precious children He has entrusted in our care.

And this man.  This vow.  This God ordained union.  I am thankful every day.  Through the good, the bad and the ugly.

Hello to Nine

Today my baby turns nine. 

 

 

This mama is struggling with this because obviously nine is no longer a baby.  But, my baby he is.  My second and last born. 

He’s changed our world these past nine years.  He’s teaching us how to be parents in a way his brother never has.  He’s funny.  Witty.  Charming to a fault.  He’s always working an angle.  Always up to something. He approaches life as one big court room in which he is the lawyer and everyone else is the jury that needs convincing.  He’s affectionate and still needs those hugs and kisses. 

His personality is so different than mine that sometimes I wonder how he grew in my belly.  I struggle to understand him.  But then other times, I sit back in amazement at the way God created him.  And I realize God has a purpose for this fire cracker that I could never imagine. 

So today instead of saying goodbye to a baby boy, I’m saying hello to a future orchestrated and written by our heavenly Father.  He loves him more than I do.  I trust Him to write a beautiful story for our Car-Man.

Hello to the last year in the single digits.

Hello to pre teen years.

Hello to growing in His faith.

Hello to his contagious love of life and his ability to make us laugh.

Hello to the privilege of seeing his ninth year unfold and being able to guide him as best we can.

Happy Birthday to one of the loves of my life!

He requested Walmart Cupcakes.  Yuck!



I'm linking with Lisa Leonard.

Throw Back Valentines Day

I thought of this picture first thing this morning as I was packing up valentine goodies for the boys to take to school.  Oh how I miss these babies...



Valentine's Day 2007.  Ages 2.5 and 10 months.

And now they are big but still my babies...


This morning.  Ages 9 and 7.

Happy Love Day! 

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 
         1 Corinthians 13:13 (NKJV)

Made this little valentine for my sweet nephew's daycare friends.

Boys

The toilet seat is usually up.  Clothes are usually on the floor instead of where they should be.  Rough housing is the norm.  Quiet times don't exist unless their little blue eyes are closed.  Nerf gun bullets come whizzing by my head at any given moment.  Stinky feet...oh yeah we've got those.  Their faces are usually dirty and don't get me started on their hands. 

However...

The snuggles are often and sweet.  The hugs and kisses come naturally without asking.  Mama is as great as any princess and Daddy is their super hero.  They usually don't fuss about what they wear as long as they choose the shoes.  ;)  And although they pick and aggravate, they love with a little boy fierceness that can't be compared.



It is my honor to be entrusted by God to raise these future men to be men who love God with their whole being and who will love their future wives and children. My  prayer is that they know it's ok to cry; to show compassion, sadness and joy.  To be leaders who stand firmly for truth...God's truth.  To advocate for the broken and the hurting, the fatherless and the widow. To know God's word and hide it in their hearts so that it will light every path they travel and every step they take.

This keeps me on my knees...